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Stan Davis: Music

14 He Should Have Been Dead

words & music by Stan Davis
I WAS MINGLING AT THE PARTY
KEEPING TABS ON DOCTOR ZACHARY
I SAW HIS GLASS WAS EMPTY
SO I OFFERED HIM A DRINK

MY HANDS WERE TINGLING WITH EXCITEMENT
AS HE DRANK HIS POISONED DAIQUIRI
HIS FACE CONVULSED, HIS BROW GOT SWEATY
AND HE TURNED A GHASTLY PINK

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD
WITH RIGOR AND MORTIS SET TO SPREAD
ONE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH WAS FOAMING RED
AND I WAITED UNTIL ALL HIS BLOOD HAD BLED

HE HAD NO HEART-BEAT AND NO BREATH
ALL OF THE CLASSIC SIGNS OF DEATH
IT HAPPENED JUST AS I SAID
HE WOULDA, COULDA, SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD!

And as a result…
I REPORTED TO MAJESTIC-12
AND SAID THE THREAT WAS NEUTRALIZED
(I GAVE IT MY GUARANTEE)
THE PROBLEM HAD BEEN SOLVED
REGARDING A POTENTIAL LEAK
(I’D EVEN WRITTEN THE EULOGY)

WE’D KEEP OUR SECRETS TO OURSELVES
AND CALL THE DOCTOR’S DEATH A SUICIDE
(A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY)
I SAID THERE’S NO ONE ELSE INVOLVED
WITH ANY RISK THAT THEY WILL SPEAK
(IT WAS THE PERFECT STRATEGY)

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD
WITH RIGOR AND MORTIS SET TO SPREAD
HE SHOULD BE ENSEPULCHERED SIX FEET UNDERGROUND
INSTEAD OF FESTERING AND PESTERING AROUND
HE SHOULD HAVE NO HEART-BEAT AND NO BREATH
ALL OF THE CLASSIC SIGNS OF DEATH
(IF) IT HAPPENED JUST AS YOU/I SAID
HE WOULDA, COULDA, SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD!
BUT INSTEAD, HE’S NOT DEAD!